Sunday, October 10, 2010

Coping...

France, 1991
or a reasonable facsimile thereof...

Life is moving on, although slowly and sadly. My brothers and I are stunned by how difficult this is, particularly in light of the fact that we are all middle-aged (and then some), and Dad was 75. I think the suddenness and unexpectedness of it all, along with the realization of loss and change and impermanence, has clobbered us hard. And if it's this hard for us, I really can't imagine how hard it is for Mom.

So we plod along as best we can, with days that seem okay, and days that are unbearably painful. My parents' 51st anniversary was on Friday - not a good day. We are celebrating Thanksgiving tomorrow, and I think that will be an okay day. The days in between are hard to predict, but I am always grateful for a non-crying day; these are happening more and more frequently.

So I am knitting, but not with any enthusiasm. What I have done is FINALLY figured out my rigid heddle loom, which I find completely weird. I have been stumped for the past couple of years, having so much difficulty just warping the damn thing. Now, unable to concentrate on much of anything, I am suddenly able to figure this out.

So I made this for Kelly's birthday: 1 and a bit more skeins of Sanguine Gryphon "Bugga".








One thing that I am finding very comforting, or rather, one person, is Elizabeth Zimmermann. I read and re-read her books as a matter of course, but for some reason, I am turning to her almost exclusively right now.

Which leads me to thoughts of a new project for the new year... I think I'm going to work my way through Knitters' Almanac beginning in January 2011. I will follow the projects faithfully, except for those things that I know I'll never wear, or be able to persuade anyone else to wear (nether garments, anyone?). In those cases, I'll substitute another Zimmermann project.

So, does anyone want to play with me?

6 comments:

Anne said...

My condolences Deirdre - it's so hard to lose a parent - 75 seems so young these days........

Knitters' Almanac - didn't you start to do this one year a long time ago - probably life got in the way - sounds like a great project for 2011.

I am going to knit a starmore or two next year - might pop by for a Zimmermann if I get the chance!

A big hug to you, your family, and your Mom too!

Sue Balaz said...

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. As you know I lost my Dad 6 years ago and I still miss him daily. We lost Joe's Mom at the beginning of September so we are experiencing the pain all over again. Our memeories of both of them keep us going through the difficult days...keep your memories alive and cherish them. Take care.

Wannietta said...

My thoughts & prayers are with you & your family. Memories are a double-edged sword - I hope that the happy & comforting ones can carry you through difficult days when memories just don't seem fair.

I look forward to reading about your Knitters' Almanac adventures!!

Sandra said...

it's tough - there's no question about that - it's been 13 years for me, and Dad was 64. I feel for you, and if you ever need to commiserate, you know how to find me. (sjrichardson10 at gmail dot com) Maybe a weaving session with wine and Dad stories...

Kelly said...

Love this picture. I remember when you went actually...glad to hear there are some good days. I think when you come in November, we need to trek to E.Zimmerman's place again...and this time be brave and say HELLO!! Are you up for it?

Miss Scarlett said...

Oh Deirdre I'm so sorry to read of your loss. :-(
Hugs to you.

I have to ask: Is that colourway called Bugga?? Bugga is what I called my grandfather when I was a very small person - the 18th anniversary of his death just passed on the 30th of November - and it seems impossible he has been gone so long. We were very close.

As you say, it's one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.

If that is the name of the colourway, I would dearly love to get some - do share your source!

As for the Almanac-a-long...well, since I still have some scarves, AHEM, languishing in my spare room, I think it might be best NOT to join any challenges -- but I look forward to watching your progress. ;-)

I just got Knitting Without Tears from the library - I tried to read (ok, skim!) it a few years ago and found it soooo complicated for my number addled brain. Hopefully this time I find it clearer. :-)

Maybe I'll challenge myself to quarterly Almanac projects...