Sunday, August 10, 2008

When Vegetables Go Bad...

Yeah, I know the hype, I've heard it all - 8 - 10 fruits or veggies a day, they're so good for you - well, not these particular veggies...

It all started at the grocery store, where I went in my bi-weekly (and futile) attempt to keep the young men of the household satiated...

yeah, I'll admit it... I started at the veggies - well, no, actually - I started with a package of bacon, which I dropped on the floor. As I bent to pick it up, the pocket of my raincoat (oh, yeah, did I mention the rain?) caught on the handle of the cart and r-r-r-i-i-i-p-p-p-ed...

sigh

okay, now to the veggies - a pyramid of yellow and orange peppers, on special... I know the boys will eat these, so I grab a couple of each colour - NO, not from the bottom, I know how to pick my produce, thank you very much

and the whole damned pyramid collapses anyhow. You know, you see something happening just before it does, and then it unfolds in slow motion? Um... yeah. And who knew just how many peppers they can fit into a pyramid?

Produce man comes running out, apologizing all up the wazoo - he was just about to rearrange them because he thought they might be 'tippy'. TIPPY???????

Okay, shake my head, remind myself that this is in fact real life and not a reality show, and get some locally grown zucchini. Grab a bag, and because I am so cool (and I am, ask anyone), I just yank it off the roll with one hand.

Well...

doesn't the whole roll snap off its holder and shoot down the aisle like a red carpet at the Oscars. Whole roll. Unrolled.

I start to giggle at this because, well, it's just too much, even for me. I can be klutzy, things can happen to me, but not in numbers. And not all in the same outing. Sure I'm tired. And PMS'ing (I know, I'm always whining about that one). But come on.

So, quickly find whatever else I need, and end up with a carton of fresh blueberries. Whose lid is loose. Which I don't realize until the bottom falls off and the floor is littered with little, rolling, blue globes.

I couldn't even laugh at this point, I was too shocked. Same produce man comes out again, sees me and shakes his head. I assure him I am done, not getting anything else, just going home now. He thinks that might be the best course, and then tells me to have a nice day.

Because, really, what other sort of day could I have?
Later I'll tell you about monsoon season here in Southern Ontario, and maybe have some pictures of yarniness to share.


But in the meantime, I say beware of vegetables - some day, when you least expect it, they'll turn on you. They'll jump on you, nay, attack you. Don't say I didn't warn you...

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's 12:50 I should be sleeping, I will be sorry tomorrow but right now I am laughing out loud....
Glad I am downstairs I will not wake anyone else.
Thanks. M

riggwelter said...

ok...i'm staying clear of the veg.
That was the funniest post I've read in ages. xx

Sandra said...

I'm laughing about the sight of blueberries rolling around the floor...
And the pyramid? Please anyone who stacks stuff like that deserves to spend the day chasing after the produce...

Yvette said...

Well, you must admit...it is kind of funny.
At least you didn't shatter a giant sized glass jar of something as I have done. More than once.

Anonymous said...

oh gosh, this made me chuckle...if only I could have beena mouse in your grocery cart...surely you treated yourself to something sinful...chocolatey....on the way home? If only veggies were square.